MLS Power Rankings: We're back like the GAM

It's been a few weeks since the last edition, so we're going to make a comeback a la the Grown-Ass Man. I don't know what's gotten into him, but he's momentarily stolen the headlines from Juan Pablo Angel, thanks to becoming the first player in MLS history with two-straight three-goal games. I'm sure the rest of the league will be happy that Eddie is headed to the Gold Cup this week. Let's see how long he has to wait for his next hat trick.

Eastern Conference

1. Kansas City Wizards - Who would have thunk it? It's a strange world in the East, with the Wizards leading the surprises. What sucks is that before his last two games and Juan Pablo Angel's arrival, I thought Maykel Galindo was a shoo-in for an All-Star spot, but it looks like the two forward positions are pretty much sealed for me. The Johnson-less Wiz get a week off before a rematch in New York against the Toros Rojos.

2. New York Red Bulls - It's Cleetus's fault. Well, not entirely, but getting an early red card while up 1-0 doesn't help. Let's see how Juan Pablo does during the Gold Cup. A tricky trip to Toronto on Wednesday and D.C. on Sunday looks to be a true test.

3. D.C. United - I know, they tied 0-0 also. But it wasn't against Real Salt Lake AT HOME. D.C. has been playing rather well the last few weeks, and won't be losing anyone to the Gold Cup. And two-straight home games against East rivals could really do them some good right now.

4. New England Revolution - Maybe Taylor Twellman needs to endorse the Soccer Wave. Seriously, how can you tie Real Salt Lake at home? Nick Rimando with 13 saves? What what what? Rimando's been letting everyone score on him! Two weeks off then the Crew at home for one of the teams hardest-hit by the Gold Cup.

5. Toronto FC - I'm starting to like this team. A lot. Maybe it's the fans, I don't know. Dichio's a big goof, but Chivas USA-reject Marvell Wynne did great on their first goal. Luis over at Sideline Views was right. This team is much better than Chivas USA and Real Salt Lake were. Don't forget to look for some of Toronto's finest on Canada's Gold Cup team.

6. Chicago Fire - Wow, you beat Columbus. Here's your medal. I just don't like this team, they're too...........blah. That being said, I can't wait for Blanco to join them. He played great down the stretch for America and will probably get some run in the Gold Cup and Copa America. According to Contacto Deportivo tonight, he just joined the Mexican NT this weekend after taking a week off following the Mexican final. If he plays some good minutes in either tournament this summer, I'd expect him to do the same before heading to Chicago.

7. Columbus Crew - I like Ratty, but he roots for the Crew. It's hard not to feel bad for him, but this is the Crew. Will this team ever fight its way out of mediocrity? I mean, these guys are the Atlanta Silverbacks of MLS. And you all know how I feel about the Silverbacks right now.

Western Conference

1. Chivas USA - Quick! Name the only team in the West with a positive goal differential. That's right. They don't even have to play to look good in this conference. Well, technically they did play this weekend, beating the Seattle Sounders 3-1 on Saturday. Starting lineup? Cunliffe, Galindo and The Rooster. Amazing.

2. Houston Dynamo - Good job dudes! But I'm still not sold on you yet. Pat Onstad is starting to look like Scott Garlick with his gray hair. It's nice to see someone besides DDR and Chingy score. Like the TeleFutura commentators said, before Sunday's game, those two had scored all of Houston's goals on the season. And with both gone for Gold Cup duty, it could be a long month for El Dinamo.

3. FC Dallas - Drew Moor, you're an embarrassment. Well, technically the Hoops are still leading the West, but I don't see that lasting long. Kenny Cooper needs some help out there, and with Ruiz gone, who's going to step up? Shoutout to Chris Gbandi for making the Liberia roster for this weekend's African Cup of Nations qualifier.

4. Colorado Rapids - Another team who found out how difficult it is going into Toronto and getting a result. But they're like the Chicago of the West. I'm still not sold on this team. Granted, Terry Cooke is Terry Cooke, but that's about it. If I was a Rapids fan, the most exciting news for me would be that Kinky's playing the MLS All-Star Game at the Dick this summer.

5. Los Angeles Galaxy - Where is the heralded Nate Jaqua? This team is in a lot of trouble. Like the Fox Sports en Espanol guys said on Saturday, right now this team is Landon Donovan +10. Maybe he needs to switch to Adidas. I bet he could take Jose, but Gordo would own him. Luckily, half of the Galaxy's games are in August, but how worn out will Donovan be by then? It's not like David Beckham is Eddie Johnson. Someone has to score goals for this team.

6. Real Salt Lake - I don't think anyone in the world expected them to pull out a draw in New England. Probably not even the Salt Lake players. But did you see the craptacular lineup they put out there on Saturday? I think Kreis is going to have to suit up for them. Who's going to score goals for them? 9 games in, still no wins. I know Kasey Keller is talking about joining them, but this team needs offense right now.