November 1, 2007

Shoe, Please Don't Kill Butters

Note: When I refer to Butters, I am referring to the cat that lives with Shoe and ECB, not the South Park character otherwise known as Leopold Storch.

"Shoe has anger management issues"

That was the text I received from ECB about an hour ago. I knew that Shoe was DVR-ing the game because he wouldn't get home in time to watch the start, so I could foresee his reactions.

When Chicago went up 2-0, B$$$ called me and asked if we should tell him not to watch. But I figured things would be OK, as he'd at least want to dissect how the game went.

But now I fear for the life of the one resident of the Bakery that we hate the most.

Shoe, I know Butters is a lazy whore who won't answer the door, bring us beer or put ECB's P'Zone in the oven like we ask him to, but I ask of you to spare him just this once.

I don't mind throwing him at the TV to get the color back or locking him out on the patio, but I'm truly afraid.

I know he's technically not yours, but he's as vital a resident of the Bakery as that mysterious third roommate of yours.

I guess you can say that little whore has grown on me. Besides, from what I'm told, women like cats, so having one around is always bonus points when one does happen to stop by.

So please, drown your sorrows by turning on some Morrissey (as I'm doing right now), and throw your support behind Chivas USA.

Your friend and loyal goalkeeper,

That Gay-ro Guy

1 comment:

$$ said...

or throw darts at your bobby boswell poster. that should help too. let's once again raise a glass for the biggest underachievers in the league, and another home loss to end a playoff run.