September 6, 2007

Chivas USA - D.C. United Live blog

Post your comments as we go, I'll continue updating...

0:00 - 4 minutes left in Louisville-MTSU, they go split screen to show the game has started and Chivas USA has a dangerous free kick outside the box. As they're lining it up, they decide it's not worth seeing and they go back full screen to the "football" game.

3 minutes in - Obviously the free kick went for nothing, they go back and show Emilio splitting the defense and firing a shot upper left corner to put D.C. up 1-0 early. Crap.

9th minute - Finally out to LA, where Smyth reminds us Chivas have never beaten United, only to have O'Brien repeat the same fact 10 seconds later. You don't sound smart when you repeat facts dolt.

13th minute - Gomez almost beats a well off his line Guzan from behind midfield. El Guzano looked unusually calm from such a close shot.

17th minute - Nice counter by DC, forces Guzan into a save, out for a corner.

19th minute - Shot from Kljestan that had a lot of movement, nice save by Tony Perkins. Those Telefutura guys pwn O'Brien.

23rd minute - Boswell holds off Galindo nicely on a diagonal move in the box and doesn't let him get a shot off. Damn. But a great flick from Razov to put him in.

25th minute - CRAP CRAP. Guzan can't control a shot from Moreno, Emilio pounces on the rebound to put DC up 2-0. As a keeper, I can't blame Guzan for that one. Those shots that bounce right in front of you are the hardest to hang on to. But no defense there to clean things up. Stuff like this drives you crazy as a keeper.

31st minute - GOAL OF THE YEAR IN MLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Perkins comes out of the box for a clearance, kicks it right into Razov's ass and rolls slowly into goal!

36th minute - Still 2-1, Namoff has picked up a yellow. Looks like the goal woke Chivas up a little, starting to get more possession in the final 3rd.

40th minute - Hard cross from the right by Kljestan, Boswell deflects it off the left post and back out. Would have been the craziest way to tie the game, lucky for D.C.

Halftime - 2-1 D.C. United, I'm sure Chivas didn't want to hear the whistle as they were the more dangerous team for the last 15 minutes. I think ECB's comment says it all. During halftime, take the time out and listen to some "Chacarron Macarron." You'll be glad once you hear the greatest reggaeton song ever.

Chacarron Macarron

Halftime - Sportscenter in game reports the score as Chicago 2-1 D.C. United. Complete with the Fire logo and everything. You can't make this stuff up.

52nd minute - Some nice moves at the top of the box for Chivas but they amount to nothing. The crew keeps mentioning the fact that Chivas have never come back to win a game they've trailed in. You know what, history can change. Just as I'm typing, Perkins with a huge save on Kljestan who gets behind the defense and tries to chip it over him.

58th minute - Wonderful setup for Galindo on a flick by Marsch, which Galindo blasts over the bar. Something tells me Chivas is going to put one of these in the back of the net.

60th minute - YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHIVAS TIE IT! Bornstein cross goes all the way through to Kljestan who keeps his cool, plays it back to THE LAW whose low shot takes a deflection and goes in. MARIETTA IN THA HIZZOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!

64th minute - Chivas still dominating the run of play, Nunez comes on for Razov. Brilliant goal scored with the Golden Ass tonight.

66th minute - Guzan finally makes a stop on a hard shot by Emilio. That's more like it.

69th minute - Stupid red card to Vanney. Nevermind. Should be a red card to Kevin Stott. The Moja 2 doesn't stand for refereeing mistakes.

72nd minute - Did Dave O'Brien just say Marc Burch has a "dangerous left foot"?????????????? That must be the one that's scored a total of ZERO MLS goals.

76th minute - Wynalda finally says what I'm thinking, "Why was Nunez brought on for Razov?" They honestly looked a lot better with the Ass of Steel out there. Now Merlin and all his wizardry comes on for El Cubano. As Nunez plays a ball way behind a streaking Panchito who is hella pissed. Carroll also comes on for Moreno, as D.C. looks to keep this game under wraps.

82nd minute - Dominic Mediate on for Ben Olsen. It looks like we've been robbed of a great finish by Preki. Stupid substitutions have probably cost Chivas two points, and now the feed has been lost. Superb.

??? minute - Gotta love these Yellow Pages ads.

??? minute - Yes, in fact I'm enjoying Primetime Thursday, now that you're asking, fucking tard. Actually, now that they're showing Beckham news, I know who's behind this. Alexi, you will die a slow death. After you watch your guitar smashed in front of your face.

92nd minute - Yes, that was the whole game. Horrible offsides call robs Panchito of a 1v1 with Perkins. Marsch then sends Nagamura in only to have Namoff catch him and break it up.

Full time - Jesus, why does this feel like a loss? I'm not going to blame the linesman, I'll blame Preki. Asshat substitutions took the momentum and 2 points away. Positives: Still unbeaten at home, came back from a 2-0 deficit with the help of a freak goal. Jesse Marsch deserves the Golden Shoe award tonight in honor of that Longshoe guy for doing a heckuva job and getting little credit. He was massive in midfield.

Comments are open, let us know what you think. I think I'm going to watch some more Chacarron Macarron.


E. Charles Blanco said...

This is amazing. D.C. is trying to win and lose this game by themselves.

Longshoe said...

I finally arrived in the second half. Thoughts so far:

- Red Brick Ale is a good beer.
- Why in the blue hell did Chivas pull Razov off?
- Why in the blue hell did DCU not mark anyone on the back post on the second Chivas goal? The crappy deflection goal wouldn't have happened if the back post had been covered off the corner.
- Brian Carroll will be a star for San Jose next year.
- Kevin Stott is a moron. Nice fake red card to Vanney, you idiot.

Longshoe said...


Longshoe said...

If this was Olympic tiddly-winks, we wouldn't be having technical difficulties. ESPN HATES SOCCER!!! JIM ROME IS BEHIND THIS!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Longshoe said...

I really don't care if Roger is a tiger now, I'd rather see the game!!! I hate you ESPN, I blame Dave O'Brien!!!

Get the problem fixed Steve Bunin, you moron!!!

I love how ESPN is believing a tabloid report about Becks wanting a loan to England. Do they even understand the transfer rules? Idiots.

I hate you Peyton Manning. I really do.

Somebody plugged the cameras back in, hooray!!!

Longshoe said...

O'Brien, thanks for telling us we didn't miss a thing for the seven minutes of play we didn't see. You obviously wouldn't know what was going on, but I probably would've liked to have seen it.

Longshoe said...

Sorry Preki, they blew that offside call in the 93rd minute. That hurts, eh?

Longshoe said...

Would Eric Wynalda do unnatural things to Jesse Marsch? I vote yes...

Taylor would be jealous.

Longshoe said...

I agree EG, I would bash that gee-tar over Alexi's head Jeff Jarrett style.


Why isn't Conor Casey (aka Uncle Fester) starring in the Dick's Sporting Goods commercials.

The Women's World Cup is going to play havoc with my sleeping schedule. I blame it on Hope Solo.

Longshoe said...

I'll agree with the Golden Shoe award to Marsch, he's massively underrated.

Waldo said Chicago has his work cut out for them, he's a moron. The Fire will make the playoffs. Cuau and Wanchope will lead them to the promised land.

Could Waldo be a Jackovosaur? I wonder...

El Güero said...

Wanchope sucks balls.

Cuau is the real deal.

But he's still 20 miles behind that Beckham guy, according to Tony Kornheiser.

Longshoe said...

To continue the South Park references, Wanchope has knees like Kyle when he became a basketball player. He's pretty much immobile. If the ball finds him in the box, he'll finish it. Other than that, he's a hood ornament.

Cuau is a bad man, and I never thought I'd say that. My U14's played a pick-up game after practice tonight, I scored a did the Cuau salute. I never thought I would do that. What's wrong with me?

I will not buy a Cuau Fire jersey, I promise.

Tony K is still just obsessed with Posh's fake chest. Becks himself is 20 miles behind that in his book. He's a simple man, that Tony K. He loves silicone.