August 16, 2007

Hello, I'm Landon Donovan, and I'm an emotional wreck

I'm so stressed I think I'm losing my hair, can you tell?

I just don't know what to do anymore guys. I mean, all this attention with David here is nice and everything. It was cool to go on the field at the Blue Jays game in Toronto. He's even a nice guy, which makes it even harder to say this.

I hate David Beckham.

There, I said it. I was the star of this team. I was the captain. I was the LA Galaxy. Notice the verb tense I'm using, all that is in the past. It's now "David Beckham & the LA Galaxy". I'm lumped in with pool cleaner Ty Harden now. How sad is that?

I know, I gave David the captain's armband last night. I said all the right things, I'm not stupid. I know what I have to do right now, but I don't like it. Do you know how much I wanted to take that free kick last night? They used to be all mine, now I have to wait for David to roll another ankle before I get a shot.

But I'm torn, did you see that pass he gave me last night? As much as I want to be the big man around here, he is good. I might score every game if he keeps getting me balls like that. Hell, I will score every night if he keeps doing that.

I keep waiting for him to invite Bianca and me out on the town with him and Posh. Bianca won't shut up about it. Maybe we can get the Cruises out too and Katie and Bianca can tell Dawson's Creek stories. I don't know though, Tom Cruise kind of creeps me out.

I just don't know what to do. This is all so good and so bad all at the same time.


POPS94 said...

Well done.

Anonymous said...

Gosh, Landon and Tom should commiserate ... they have SOoooo much in common - moments of brilliance in vehicles mired in mediocrity. Always on the edge of genius, but never quite getting there or the respect that goes with it. Soccer player, actor... neither of which will ever reach the pinnacle of their profession.

Longshoe said...

So you're saying Landon's 2002 World Cup was like Tom's Risky Business?

And the 2003 MLS Cup win was like All the Right Moves?

And the Galaxy's 2005 MLS Cup win was like Jerry Maguire?

That would make the 2006 World Cup like War of the Worlds or Eyes Wide Shut, right?