April 3, 2008

The following program has been joined in progress: MLS THURSDAY NIGHT DOUBLEHEADER

What in the blue hell is going on in Chicago? I get home from practice and see that the score is already 1-0 Chicago and New England is already a man down?!?

While I'm getting settled, Chicago scored one of the more ridiculous goals I've seen to take a 2-0 lead. Great ball from Blanco that Barrett turns into an adventure. Parkhurst makes a great pass to the new Polish striker for Chicago and he trickles the ball over the line.

Memo to the Chicago fans: Can we stop with the White Stripes "Seven Nation Army" chant? There's been plenty of other songs that could work for that sort of thing, with plenty of them released in the last five years.

Justin Mapp goes down in the box and earns a PK. The Revs sure are getting hosed tonight. GOAL CUAU!!! The 20 yard run-up for the PK is hilarious.

Memo to the referee: You blew that one, I think you owe the Revs a few calls at some point.

GOAL FRANKOWSKI!!! Is New England even going to come out for the second half? 4-0 Chicago.

Please get better music for highlights that Angels & Airwaves. I'll take polka over that garbage...

The Revs try to sneak a goal, and Soumare kicks Jon Busch in the head. That's not the best way to treat your starting goalkeeper, buddy.

Glenn Davis just says that Albright defined the outside back position over the last few years. Frankie Hejduk just broke his TV at home.

Reis just keeps the Fire from getting numero cinco. Great save.

I really don't get the hoo-hah over Adam Cristman. He just reminds me of a big donkey.

Chad Barrett is just not improving as quickly as I thought he would. He seems to lack the killer instinct.

This game has entered the suck zone.

I'm just waiting on the return of the 'Quakes and to see if Ruud Gullit will hang himself on the sideline when the Gals lose again... just kidding (I think).

Cuau has 218 backheels in this game.

I just noticed that in the new Dick's Sporting Goods commercial, Ching is watching a Dynamo game in the store. I guess they've already left him out after last night woeful performance. Poor Chingy.

Ben Olsen won't be winning any Academy Awards anytime soon either...

Wow, I hadn't realized that David Beckham has exactly ZERO wins in MLS games. Will that change tonight?

Welcome back San Jose!

OH NOES!!! BECKHAM'S LEFT ANKLE IS SORE!!! OMG!!!

Memo to the MLS marketing department: Good job on the new MLS commercial, keep it up! Can we get more of that instead of the Dick's Sporting Goods commercial, please?

I hope Peter Vagenas has a broken leg or something, how do you leave him out of this lineup?

San Jose's lineup really isn't that bad...

GOAL SAN JOSE!!! Dolt, offside on the free kick. He was onside according to the replay. C'mon Harkes, have some balls and say that was a bad call. THE YELLOW LINE SAID SO!!!

Funniest line of the night: "Alan Gordon is trying to fill the shoes of Carlos Ruiz." El Pescadito just took a dive while trying to break his TV.

Well, the new adidas jerseys are pretty resilient. Mike Randolph just tried to rip Kamara's off.

GOAL BECKHAM!!! And from the run of play, shocking! Cochrane with a horrible giveaway, Donovan with a killer pass to split two defenders and Becks megs Cannon for his first MLS goal.

"Beckham and O'Brien are the two best crossers of the ball from the right side in MLS." Terry Cooke just broke his TV. Lots of broken TV's tonight...

I thought Chivas USA had the patent on the centrifuge plasma in the knee rehab trick...

Alan Gordon actually almost scored. I'm shocked.

San Jose really needs to stop trying to play the short passes in the back, Donovan almost gets through on a bad pass back to Riley.

Alan Gordon is a naughty boy, that was a pretty hard foul on Hernandez. No card though...

Mike Randolph is determined to strip Ronnie O'Brien of his uniform tonight, that time he almost yanked his shorts off.

The Quakes need to pressure the Gals' defense. They can't handle the ball to save their lives. Kamara and Salinas need to challenge everything.

Cronin with a really nice save off the corner, San Jose can't knock in the rebound.

Everytime a Galaxy defender touches the ball, it turns into a Choose Your Own Adventure book.

OMG, KOBE BRYANT IS AT THE GAME!!!

Alan Gordon is trying to compete with Cristman in tonight's Donkey Sweepstakes.

The Galaxy are starting to connect on some passes, they're looking much better than last week. Well, they are playing an expansion team...

Pires with one of the worst acting jobs I've ever seen, what a screamer. Even his teammates are trying not to laugh. I think Gullit did laugh.

GOAL LANDO!!! Beckham with the assist after a header from Gordon. He did something!

Gordon got an assist on the first goal too. TWO ASSISTS, HE'S A SUPERSTAR!

Great ball from Becks on a free kick, Pires misses the header though. He might have a headache, as that was really a driven ball. Wynalda would've been so pleased.

Ely Allen is not shy with the tackles, he kills Grabavoy and no foul is called.

Halftime, LA 2-0. I don't the Gals are exactly dominating, but they are the better team.

DAMN IT, I HATE YOU BEN OLSEN. I HATE THIS COMMERCIAL.

Is it just me, or do you just want to punch the guy in the freecreditreport.com commercials in the neck?

Julie Foudy just had the worst halftime segment of all time. That was painful. BUT NOT AS PAINFUL AS THIS DAMN DICK'S SPORTING GOODS COMMERCIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Memo to Becks: Just stop trying to pass to Alan Gordon, it's a waste of time.

He didn't listen, because he just sent another great long ball up to Gordon. Cannon came out of the box to win the ball with his chest.

Harkes is exactly right, San Jose is too tentative in the attacking third.

He hasn't seen a whole lot of the ball, but I like what I'm seeing out of Shea Salinas. He plays with a nice confidence for a youngster. Well, I guess Yallop didn't like it because he brings on Glinton for Salinas.

San Jose is starting to look like a team that's running out of ideas.

Chris Klein is playing a great game. If LA sticks with this 4-4-2, the Klein/Beckham combo on the right side will be really tough to deal with...

Bob Bradley loves his nachos.

Cunliffe in for Guerrero for the Quakes.

OMG, POSH SPICE IS AT THE GAME!!! Oh yeah, that makes sense...

Alan Gordon just tripped over himself in the box. He is the winner of tonight's Donkey Sweepstakes! Congratulations Alan!

Even the scorekeeper hates him, they just took away Gordon's two assists. I guess the Donkey of the Night can't have any assists, eh?

Gullit looks like he wants to strangle Gordon after he misplays another cross.

Kamara just looks like he doesn't know what to do. I guess he's still shaking off the Crew Rust.

At least Gordon finally got a header on goal, of course it's right at the keeper, but still...

Great ball from Beckham to Donovan, great ball from Donovan to Gordon, Gordon falls down again. It's like watching a guy on a Big Wheel try to keep up with two guys on motorcycles.

That's it, 2-0 to the Gals. MLS won't implode after all.

14 comments:

El G├╝ero said...

I mean, yeah it's the Revs, but the calls have been so one-sided it's ridiculous.

New England shouldn't have even made the trip.

kizzak said...

Just got in around the 80th minute, wow that must have been a boring second half

Longshoe said...

The only good thing about the second half was my Papa John's delivery.

kizzak said...

Welcome to the most overplayed ad this season when the MLS is on ESPN 2

At least last year the Dicks ad was at least half watchable.

Longshoe said...

I'm a DC fan and I'm starting to hate Ben Olsen.

kizzak said...

Have to give props to landy cakes for the OSU burn

kizzak said...

or I guess I could just be the only one who never heard anyone else do it before

kizzak said...

talk about no shame when committing a foul

kizzak said...

ESPN with a meta-criticism of their own golden balls coverage

kizzak said...

So I just discovered that ESPN 360 carries three live Serie A matches on the weekends

You would think they might choose to publicize this fact at some point ever, especially maybe when there's a match on TV

Longshoe said...

I think 360 has other games available too, I remember something else that surprised me when I heard about it.

I don't get 360 unfortunately, so I don't know. Stupid Comcast...

Anonymous said...

ESPN 360 shows Champions League games as well and I would imagine any internationals that ESPN has rights to.

The second half of the Chicago game put me to sleep so I missed the the LA game. Now it's 3:38 AM and some loud commercial woke me up and now I can't get back to sleep.

kizzak said...

I knew they showed CL and MLS matches on 360, but never had a clue they had gotten the rights to a european league to show online as well

fred said...

I think it can officially be said: Alan Gordon == Manute Bol.

well, wait, I think Bol actually had a few baskets here and there.

Alan Gordon <= Manute Bol.

Alan Gordon == Gheorge Muresan. Except Gheorge might have been good if not for that glandular problem. Gordon just creates like a "negative vortex" that sucks up whatever skills are around him and turns them into suckage.